Aye yo, new lonely island, two thousand eleven,
Let's get 'em Kiv!
Aye yo my dick don't work, that shit is soft as a pillow
My girlie looking at me like "you for real dude?"

Aye yo, hold up, hold up,
We gotta come harder than that!
Yo tell 'em Andy!

I think there might be something wrong with my dick
It's like a melted stick of butter so soft
That it can't fill a rubber.

Aye yo come on man, this is lonely island,
People are countin' on us,
I gotta run all these motherfuckers myself!
Who!

Aye yo I think I broke my dick in the sink
It's so small and ugly,
All smashed and flat like it was playin' rugby.
Hold up hold up, this is serious, kiv let 'em know!
Yo for real though, I suffer from stinky dick.
Every time I take a piss it smells just like shit.
Haha yeah that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
Andy show 'em how it's done!

My dick looks like the fat that you cut off a steak,
Smashed in like my balls went and stepped on a rake.

Lonely island!
Grammy nominated, yea!
Hit 'em again!

Yo straight out the box with my soggy little shrimp
I was a eight year old girl before the doctor found my dick.
We make too much money for this shit, murder music!
I shit the bed cause my dick played a prank on my butt
Hit em! Straight crept when I slept and stuck a laxative up
Suppository music! What y'all know about incontinence?
I got hepatitis c from horse, but no confusion, yeah!
It wasn't from the sex it was a blood transfusion!
What? Motherfucker got horse blood! What y'all got?

I write freaky fan fiction where cartoons fuck
Got CGI Garfield licking Marmaduke's nuts
Whoo! I would like to see that!
This is that Garfield sex music!
Now y'all just showing off! preach!
I got a friend named Reggie who lives down at the dump
Every other week I swing by and bring him some lunch
Oh! Now that just sounds nice!
I'ma call it right there, game over motherfuckers!
Lonely island, we started this fake rap shit!
The world needs us!

Copyright: Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Writer(s): Akiva Schaffer, Andrew Samberg, Brandon Lamela, Brendan Long, Jorma Taccone