Bernice bobs her hair in the barber's in the square
All her new-found friends are there to see it done
Bernice bobs her hair she's been driven to despair
'Cause her cousin doesn't care about anyone

Her hair was long, her hair was dark
Her hair fell down her back
And now it lies upon the floor
Bernice runs out the door

Marjorie had told her what to wear to the parties
Marjorie had told her what to say to the boys
Now Marjorie was jealous of her social advances
And presented her with this choice

"Bernice, bob your hair
You've persistently declared this intention
Do you dare to disagree?"
So Bernice bobs her hair and is instantly ensnared
In a trap so well prepared by Marjorie

Her hair was long, her hair was dark
Her hair fell down her back
The mirror tells of her mistake
Her heart is fit to break

So when it's dark and her cousin sleeps
Into the room she creeps
Marjorie's curls come down like rain
Bernice runs for her train

I was born yesterday

I, I was born yesterday
And I believe all that you say
I have no choice
I must obey you
Is this the first or the second day
Of the rest of my life
Well hey
Why should I care either way
If what you say is true?

Saturday morning, 18th of December
I cannot remember
The last time that I saw such a young ballerina
In love with the loveless
In tune with a tuneless old upright piano
Standing en pointe
Going through each position with gentle precision
She measures each movement
Her classical features and elegant waistline
Are going to waste while she pleases her parents

What if they die on the road to Rathmines
Where a dog in two minds times his run to perfection
An orphan at last,
She'd be sick in the loo-bowl
Then go to the funeral and cry by the graveside
And then sleep with the first man she sees
And she'd catch some disease
Which she would give to her doctor
She'd cook her own breakfast, and she'd cook his as well
And both get on swell
Even though he was married

You are a part of me
I am a part of you
Why should I let you walk all over me?
All over me

Copyright: DOMINO PUBLISHING COMPANY, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group
Writer(s): NEIL HANNON