Alright then, picture this if you will
10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping
Holy fucking shit
Holy fucking shit
Holy fucking shit
Holy fucking shit
Holy fucking shit
Holy fucking shit

Then the X-Files being, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa,
Did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants."

So light in his way
Like an apparition
He had me crying out
"Fuck me
It's gotta be
Deadhead Chemistry
The blotter got right on top of me
Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"

And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. Revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One? They chose me?
And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school

You better
You better
You better
You better listen

When he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time he floated away
See my heart is pounding
'Cause this shit never happens to me

Can't breathe, right now
It was so real
Like I woke up in Wonderland
All sort of terrifying
And I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story
And can anyone tell me why
You all sound like Peanut's parents
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally it's my lucky day
See my heart is racing
'Cause this shit never happens to me

Can't breathe, right now

You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I just said, see the Dead ain't touring
And this wasn't all in my head
See they took me by the hand and invited me right in
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin

Strapped down my bed, feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive, am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed

High
High
I, I-I-I-I-I
High, I, I-I-I-I-I
High, high
High, high, high

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position
Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and read to all
The details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see
But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again
Typical

Strapped down my bed, feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head. Am I alive, am I dead?
Sunkist and sudafed, gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help, brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed

I can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero
Can't remember what they said

Oh no, help now (can't remember what they said)

Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know

God damn, shit the bed

Copyright: BMG Rights Management
Writer(s): Adam Jones, Daniel Carey, Justin Chancellor, Maynard James Keenan