Eddie the Eunuch was a weasel
Nasty as an old man's nose
Making believin' he was evil
Struttin' in his mama's clothes

You know that Eddie had a bad connection
Never had a chance to ball
Sleeping in the wrong direction, baby
Dreaming he was ten feet tall

But now Eddie the Eunuch is a rock and roll critic
Sucking like a super star
Slicker than a shoe-shine
Quicker than a two-time

Eddie what a thang you are
Eddie makes a damn good livin', baby
Putting other people down

Eddie couldn't ever forgive them baby
'Cause he wasn't Jackson Browne.

Copyright: Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Writer(s): KRIS KRISTOFFERSON