Pappy with the Khaki sweatband bowed goat potbellied barnyard that only he noticed
The old fart was smart
The old gold cloth madonna
Dancin' t' the fiddle 'n saw, he ran down behind the knoll
And slipped on his wooden fishhead
The mouth worked 'n snapped all the bees back to the bungalow

Momma was flattenin' lard with her red enamel rollin' pin
When the fishhead broke the window
Rubber eye erect and precisely detailed
Airholes from which breath should come is now closely fit
With the chatter of the old fart inside

An assortment of observations took place
Momma licked her lips like a cat
Pecked the ground like a rooster
Pivoted like a duck
Her stockings down caught dust and doughballs
She cracked her mouth glaze, caught one eyelash
Rubbed her hands on her gorgeous gingham
Her hand grasped sticky metal intricate latchwork
Open to the room, a smell of coal mixed with bologna
Rubber bands, crumpled wax-paper bonnets, fat goose legs 'n special jellies
Ignited by the warmth of the room
The old fart smelled this through his important breather holes
Cleverly he dialed from within
From the outside we observed that the nose of the wooden mask
Where the holes had just been a moment ago
Was now smooth, amazingly blended, camouflaged in
With the very intricate rainbow trout replica

The old fart inside was now breathin' freely
From his perfume bottle atomizer air bulb invention

His excited eyes from within the dark interior glazed
Watered in appreciation of his thoughtful cleveration

Copyright: Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Writer(s): Don Van Vliet