Come up from the tub awhile
Look like a four eyed gig from Australia
You're like a wine-soaked vicars genitalia
You'll be a sloth like a crook that
Likes to fail to persevere
Give me a boat
Bermuda tricycle, I disappear

Watch what you say
'Cause we'll leave you in the woods
Near the horse
And we'll leave you there naked
Let nature take its course

Hooker you think that I'm a Jon
As I'm moving on
Jon, Jon, you think that I'm a hooker
And you're trying to book her
Everybody's wrong, about what turns me on
He thinks that I'm a hooker
She thinks that I'm a Jon

Okay

Been driving all night and day
Just trying to find Route 66
All we found was a couple teenage boys
Trying to sell their dicks
Ate four thousand, four hundred and forty eight
Flintstones Kids to get my fix
We can dock the foreskin so we get a real viscous mix
When the first son to tether
I'm gonna give him LSD and see what he says
Then toss him to his mama
And then suck on some breast

Hooker you think that I'm a Jon
As I'm moving on
Jon, Jon, you think that I'm a hooker
And you're trying to book her
Everybody's wrong, about what turns me on
He thinks that I'm a hooker
She thinks that I'm a Jon

Okay

You're like a hoodoo fan
I mean old, meal and rot
You're like the prince of darkness
Doing patty cakes in the pig sty
You'll be watching re-runs of Wheel Of Fortune
When apocalypse comes
Your brain 'll be expanding
When God's kingdom comes
You're like a retarded Isaac Newton
In Johnny Appleseed's mind
Got a concussion from an apple
Making pills in a nine to five grind

Hooker you think that I'm a Jon
As I'm moving on
Jon, Jon, you think that I'm a hooker
And you're trying to book her
Everybody's wrong, about what turns me on
He thinks that I'm a hooker
She thinks that I'm a Jon

Copyright: CONCORD MUSIC PUBLISHING LLC
Writer(s): Cole Alexander, Jared Swilley