She said 'There's something in the woodshed
And I can hear it breathing
It's such and eerie feeling, darling'
He said 'There's nothing in the woodshed
It's your imagination
End of conversation, darling'

Something in his heart told him to come clean
He was not who he claimed to be
Something in his genes told him to pretend
'Twas something for the weekend

But she said 'There's something in the woodshed
I know because I saw it
I can't simply ignore it, darling
So he said 'Now baby don't be stupid
Get this into your sweet head
There ain't nothing in the woodshed
(Except maybe some wood)

Something in his heart told him to come clean
He was not who he claimed to be
Something in his genes told him to pretend
'Twas something for the weekend

I'll go all the way with you
If you'll only do the same for me - go and see
If it's nothing like you say
Then you can have your wicked way with me

It's something for the weekend

He went down to the woodshed
They came down hard on his head
Gagged and bound and left for dead
When he woke she was gone with his car and
All of his money

Copyright: Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group
Writer(s): Neil Hannon