Alright, when I call your name step forward
Pinocchio, the puppet
I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy

That's your patch of mud down there
Oh, dropped on a swamp, man, I tell you
Sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine sap

Life is disappointing
Whoa, is what I know
Outted by my nose
That's just how it goes for poor Pinocchio

Story of my life, always doomed to fail
Cheated by a fox, swallowed by a whale
That's the story of my life, oh yeah
That's the story of my life

Strife is never ending
Peter Pan!
Banished from the town
Ugly Duckling!
They dragged me from the pond
They pulled my magic wand
They blew our condos down

Wicked Witch
Life is but a witch hunt
Mama's in the mud
Mama's in distress

They ridiculed my hat
They said that we were fat
They tore my cotton granny dress
And called me a hot and tranny mess

Sugar Plum Fairy
Story of my life
Booted from the ball
Told to go away
Tumbled off a wall
That's the story of my life
You're late rabbit
That's the story of my life
Have fun you guys
That's the story of my life

And remember if we find you back in the kingdom
You will be executed

I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending
And this right here, not how it goes
I always dreamed I'd get an ever after
If this is it, it blows, it blows, it blows

This is worse than that case
Of Dutch elm disease I caught in Tijuana

Story of my life
All the wasted prayers
All the broken dreams
All the broken chairs

All the damage done
All the busted beds
All the shattered falls
And the pourage on our heads

That's the story of my life, yes, sir
That's the story of my life
That's the story of my life, crap

Copyright: Universal Music Publishing Group
Writer(s): DAVID LINDSAY-ABAIRE, JEANINE TESORI