Oh, deary me
My little brother's in his bedroom smoking weed
I tell him he should get up 'cause it's nearly half past three
He can't be bothered 'cause he's high on THC
I ask him very nicely if he'd like a cup of tea
I can't even see you 'cause the room is so smokey
Don't understand how one can watch so much TV
My baby brother Alfie, how I wish that you could see

Oh, I only say it 'cause I care
So please can you stop pulling my hair
Now, now there's no need to swear
Please don't despair my dear, Mon frere

Oh, Alfie get up it's a brand new day
I just can't sit back and watch you waste your life away
You need to get a job because the bills need to get paid
Get off your lazy arse
Alfie, please use your brain
Surely there's some walls out there that you can go and spray
I'm feeling guilty if I leading you astray
Now, how the hell do you ever expect that you'll get laid
When all you do is stay and play on your computer games?

Oh, I only say it 'cause I care
So please can you stop pulling my hair
Now, now there's no need to swear
Please don't despair my dear Mon frere

Oh, little brother, please refrain from doing that
I'm trying to help you out so can you stop being a twat
It's time that you and I sit down and had a little chat
Just look me in the eyes take off that stupid fitted cap

Oh, I only say it 'cause I care
So please can you stop pulling my hair
Now, now there's no need to swear

Please don't despair
Please don't despair
Mon frere

Copyright: Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group
Writer(s): Greg Kurstin, Lily Rose Allen