I am not a qualified physician
And I do not want to give this injection

I am not a qualified physician
And I do not want to give this injection

Dorothy's begging for trouble
She is insisting I give her this needle
Darling one thing I want you to know
Don't blame me for where the needle goes

I push it in, she pulls it out
I push it back, she starts to shout:
"Dr. Kitch, you are terrible,
I can't stand the sight of your needle."

She lied down in such a position
It was difficult to give this injection
She starts holding on to the needle
Making me so uncomfortable
I said 'darling, can't you be steady,
I'm going to have it in very shortly'
She said 'Dr. Kitch I am sorry,
But the sight of the needle frightens me'

I push it in, she pulls it out
I push it back, she starts to shout:
"Dr. Kitch, you are terrible,
I can't stand the sight of your needle."

She still wouldn't lie down quietly
Constantly moving her body
So I slap her in the face with vexation
And go on giving the injection
She screams 'Doctor stop it, I can't stand the pain,
I don't think your inside the right vein'
I said 'You little fool you wouldn't be told,
The needle must be sticking in the wrong hole!'

I push it in, she pulls it out
I push it back, she starts to shout:
"Dr. Kitch, you are terrible,
I can't stand the sight of your needle."

I pull it from the hole and start again
I have the needle now in the right vein
The needle's just in half an inch
The stupid young lady start to flinch
Suddenly she calls 'Doc it's working!
I can feel the pennicilin going in'
I said 'You silly fool, look what you do
The needle's gonna break inside of you!'

I push it in, she pulls it out
I push it back, she starts to shout:
"Dr. Kitch, you are terrible,
I can't stand the sight of your needle."

I am a qualified physician
And I will give this injection

Copyright: Universal Music Publishing Group
Writer(s): ANDY ROBERTS