Seltzer boy
Where are you hiding
If you don't come right now
I'm goin' tell you boss on you

Oy

Don't bring me water
I rather have seltzer
'Cause water don't bubble
And water don't fizz

Water I hate it
'Cause it ain't carbonated
But a glass of seltzer
On the other hand is

Don't bring me Pepsi
Don't bring me a cool-Aid
Don't bring a malted
And don't bring me champagne

I'll tell you what boy
Bring me one scotch and soda
Then you'll take back the scotch, boy
And leave the two cents plain

Seltzer boy
When are you coming?
If don't bring that seltzer
I'm goin' tell Mister Meltzer on you

Seltzer boy

That's better, could you put in a little chocolate sauce?

Copyright: GET SONGS DIRECT, Songtrust Ave, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Writer(s): ALLAN SHERMAN, BUSCH LOU, LOU BUSCH