Missed me, missed me, now you've got to kiss me
If you kiss me, mister, I might tell my sister
If I tell her, mister, she might tell my mother
And my mother, mister, she might tell my father
And my father mister, he won't be too happy
And he'll have his lawyer come up from the city and arrest you, mister
So I wouldn't miss me if you get me, mister, see

Missed me, missed, me now you've got to kiss me
If you kiss me, mister, you must think I'm pretty
If you think so, mister, you must want to fuck me
If you fuck me, mister, it must mean you love me
If you love me, mister, you would never leave me
It's as simple as can be

Missed me, missed me, now you've got to kiss me
If you miss me, mister, why do you keep leaving?
If you trick me, mister, I will make you suffer
And they'll get you, mister, put you in the slammer
And forget you, mister, then you'll miss me, won't you?
Won't you miss me? Won't you miss me? Won't you miss me?

Missed me, missed me, now you've got to kiss me
If you kiss me, mister, take responsibility
I'm fragile, mister, just like any girl would be
And so misunderstood, so treat me delicately

Missed me, missed me, now you've gone and done it
Hope you're happy in the county penitentiary
It serves you right for kissing little girls
But I will visit, if you miss me, say you miss me

How's the food they feed you?
Do you miss me?
Will you kiss me through the window?
Do you miss me, miss me?
Will they ever let you go?
I miss my mister so

Copyright: Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Writer(s): Amanda Palmer