Calling Mister Oswald with the swastika tattoo
There is a vacancy waiting in the English voodoo
Carving "v" for vandal on the guilty boy's head
When he's had enough of that, maybe you'll take him to bed
To teach him he's alive before he wishes he was dead

Turn up the TV, no one listening will suspect
Even your mother won't detect it so your father won't know
They think that I've got no respect, but
Everything means less than zero
Hey, oh hey
Hey, oh hey

Oswald and his sister are doing it again
They've got the finest home movies that you have ever seen
They've got a thousand variations, every service with a smile
They're gonna take a little break, and they'll be back after a while
Well, I hear that South America is coming into style

Turn up the TV, no one listening will suspect
Even your mother won't detect it so your father won't know
They think that I've got no respect, but
Everything means less than zero
Hey, oh hey
Hey, oh hey

A pistol was still smoking, a man lay on the floor
Mister Oswald said he had an understanding with the law
He said he heard about a couple living in the USA
He said they traded in their baby for a Chevrolet
Let's talk about the future now we've put the past away

Turn up the TV, no one listening will suspect
Even your mother won't detect it so your father won't know
They think that I've got no respect, but
Everything means less than zero
Hey, oh hey
Hey, oh hey
Hey, oh hey
Hey, oh hey
Hey, oh hey
Hey, oh hey
Hey, hey
Hey, oh hey

Copyright: BMG Rights Management, Capitol CMG Publishing, Universal Music Publishing Group
Writer(s): ELVIS COSTELLO