Monday morning, I woke up late
I feel like shit and I can't see straight
One last drink was a bad idea
I'm on the bowl with diarrhea
Out the door in a fog
Barked at by the neighbor's dog
Forgot my keys, I went back inside
I got a flat so I can't ride
The phone rings aw jeez now what?
I am an idiot so I pick it up (hello?)

Now I'm held up on my line
My cretin landlord he's wasting my time
He wants his money or we go to trial
He's got penis envy denial

Another weekend I didn't get laid it's a Monday morning ant brigade
Another weekend I didn't get paid it's a Monday morning ant brigade

Fuck it all, no regrets
I'm staying in and you can bet
It sucks outside in the pouring rain
I'll smoke some pot and fry my brain
Thom cut the record down to the bone
I'm the sure shot rocking the microphone

Another weekend I didn't get laid it's a Monday morning ant brigade
I've got the Monday mornings

Copyright: Universal Music Publishing Group
Writer(s): BRYAN T. KIENLEN, GREGGORY A. ATTONITO, PETER WILLIAM STEINKOPF, SHALENDAR S. KHICHI