What a fucked up world
Or is it my fucked up head?
The only way you are cool is
If you're gay or dead

Straight, normal, hetero guy
Normal, hetero, straight guy

I never get any chicks
But it's better than a gun
Or a dick in the mouth
Is there any place to be
For a normal straight guy like me?

Straight, normal, hetero guy
Normal, hetero, straight guy

Maybe I should pierce my butt
Or get a few tattoos
Maybe I should wear a dress
Or be a homo like you

Straight, normal, hetero guy
Normal, hetero, straight guy

Yeah, that's right I'm a straight
Normal, girl fuckin', coffee drinkin'
Titty suckin', cigarette smokin', seal killin'
Red neck ass bastard from hell

Copyright: Universal Music Publishing Group
Writer(s): JOHN WILLIAM STEVENSON, STEPHEN O'REILLY