I been in that war, but I ain't safe
My dawg just finished trial, and lost the case
Couple days before I was pallbearer and buried Jay
I ain't walk up on his casket, when it's up
I ain't want that to be the last time I seen his face
When I seen my tear fall, I ain't cry in a while, but I seen blood
Man this feelin' deep, we ain't lose connects
We ain't talk, but that's still my thug
Why I felt his soul when I was huggin' her tight
When I gave his momma a hug
I'm still mad, tryna rekindle the flame, but you know it's still love

I'm tryin'
But it's only so much that a nigga can take
Inside I'm dyin'
Everyday feel like my last
In the morning I won't be awake

Poured all my love, been tryna make this mountain move
Uh, I still be tryin' even though I know it's impossible
How could I be so foolish for believing in love?
You know it's a limit, the moments I got with you and this time ain't enough
YB just lost federal trial, it got my head spinnin'
Grandma asked me when was I at peace, I told her it's been a minute
They say I beat the streets, but I promise it don't seem like I'm winnin'
God keep a close eye on me, you know how I get when I'm healin'
Know how it get when I'm dealin', suicidal thoughts, I be trippin'
I been outta touch with my feelings, emotionally scarred, but I'm willin'
They say I'm weird 'cause I'm different, I still won't change with these millions
I cry a pain 'cause I feel it, they ain't say bad news but I hear it

I'm tryin'
But it's only so much that a nigga can take
Inside I'm dyin'
Everyday feel like my last
In the morning I won't be awake

Ayy, I be tryna move my feet but my heart just got me stuck
When I start to see that they care
That's when they showed me they don't give a fuck
When I love, my heart start beatin', I can't let you in easy
Why should I be the one to stay, when I know you gon' leave?
Miss Tish wanted me to talk at Jay funeral
But I was tryna stay strong, even though I was vulnerable
I done had 23 once before, but I lost him two times
We wasn't on good times before he died
I wished I called his line
The shit that we was fighting over, we coulda gotta got over it
Had our differences since 2019, but nobody noticed it
I still loved you like my brother, I hoped you know it
Embracin' all my feelings like a poet
I just seen the Devil flash right cross my eyes
In my dreams I seen the shovel, bury me alive
All your friends in here, yeah, all my brothers died
Baby, I need you here, just right here by my side
Feel like bad luck is me, feel like I'm cursed
I know everybody go through shit, but I go through the worst
Hurt people hurt people, I lied when I said I believe him
I wouldn't be surprised that outta the blue, that my heart'll stop beating
I showed him my weakness

I'm tryin'
But it's only so much that a nigga can take
Inside I'm dyin'
Everyday feel like my last
In the morning I won't be awake

You know like, real niggas go through shit, you feel me?
I don't even try to hide it 'cause I know this shit be real, you feel what I'm sayin'?
I can't hide this shit, this shit just be me, and that's who I am
Like, I feel this shit, you know what I'm sayin'?
Like every step of the way it's always somethin' else
Every time I open my eyes it's somethin', I close 'em, it's somethin' else
And I wake up and open again, it's somethin' else, it's just my life

Copyright: Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Writer(s): Keyanta Bullard