Now I'm a young inventor, a chap with good ideas,
I've built myself a camera, it took me years and years.
It's a wonderful invention with special x-ray tricks,
It can take a picture in the dark and can even see through bricks.
I bought myself an album and filled it up with snaps,
And I've got some lovely pictures of the local girls and chaps.

Now I've got a picture of the girl next door, in my little snapshot album,
And I've never had a better snap before, in my little snapshot album.
The night was dark and the hour was late,
She was kissing her boy by the garden gate,
Wouldn't she love to see page eight, in my little snapshot album.

And I've got a picture of my old granddad, in my little snapshot album.
He's over eighty but a real bad lad, in my little snapshot album
Although he's an old antique,
He thinks he's still the village sheik,
I've got him dancing cheek to cheek in my little snapshot album.

Now I've got a picture of the vicar's wife, in my little snapshot album.
Chasing the Curate with a carving knife in my little snapshot album.
Now what he did was all in fun
But it's not the kind of thing that's done,
I can see he pinched her hot-cross bun, in my little snapshot album.

And I've got a picture of a nudist camp, in my little snapshot album,
All very jolly but a trifle damp, in my little snapshot album.
There's Uncle Dick without a care, discarding all his underwear,
But his watch and chain still dangle there, in my little snapshot album.

Copyright: Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Writer(s): HARRY PARR-DAVIES, JIMMY HARPER, WILL E HAINES