You've heard about my capers when windows I've to clean
Now I'd like to tell you of a few more things I've seen

I've seen Miss Thompson in her flat take off her shoes, her coat and hat
I've seen her take off more than that, when I'm cleaning windows
At a ladies school I call, and one girl flirts with me and all
But I'm insured in case I fall, when I'm cleaning windows

All day up this ladder I'm as busy as can be
It's not my fault I see a lot of things I shouldn't see

To overcrowded flats I've been, sixteen in one bed I've seen
With a lodger tucked up in between, when I'm cleaning windows
Old soldiers never die they say, now I don't want to pass away
I kick the bucket every day when I'm cleaning windows
Through working at such dizzy heights, I dream about my job at night
I polish my wife's thingummy tights, and think I'm cleaning windows

All day up this ladder I'm as busy as can be
It's not my fault I see a lot of things I shouldn't see

The newlyweds at number six, somehow the curtains they can't fix
They play some lovely parlor tricks, when I'm cleaning windows
Now lots of girls I've had to jilt, for they admire the way I'm built
It's a good job I don't wear a kilt, when I'm cleaning windows
At the coronation I'll commence to work where crowds are very dense
And let me stand for eighteen pence, instead of cleaning windows

And all day up this ladder I'm as busy as can be
It's not my fault I see a lot of things I shouldn't see

At eight o'clock a girl she wakes, at five past eight a bath she takes
At ten past eight (hm) my ladder breaks, when I'm cleaning windows

Copyright: BMG Rights Management, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Writer(s): Frederick E Cliffe, George Formby, Hubert J. Clifford