Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade
She worked the night shift
Dishwater blonde, tall and fine
She got a lot of tips

Well, earlier I'd been talkin' stuff
In a violent room
Fighting with lovers past
I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine
Dorothy was fast

Well, I ordered, "Yeah, let me get a fruit cocktail, I ain't too hungry"
Dorothy laughed
She said "Sounds like a real man to me"
"You're kinda cute, you want to take a bath?
(Do you want to, do you want to, bath)

Awh I said "Cool, but I'm leaving my pants on" (she say)
"'Cause I'm kind of going with someone"
She said "Sounds like a real man to me"
"Mind if I turn on the radio?"
"Oh, my favorite song" she said
And it was Joni singing "Help me I think I'm falling"

Brrring the phone rang and she said
"Whoever's calling can't be as cute as you"
Right then I knew I was through
(Dorothy Parker was cool)

My pants where wet, they came off
But she didn't see the movie
'Cause she hadn't read the book first

Instead she pretended she was blind
An affliction brought on by a witch's curse
Dorothy made me laugh (ha ha)
I felt much better so I went back
To the violent room (tell us what you did)
Let me tell you what I did

I took another bubble bath with my pants on
All the fighting stopped
Next time I'll do it sooner
This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
Sweet hoo hoo ooo
Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
Well
Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
Well, ohh, well, aohh

Copyright: Universal Music Publishing Group, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Writer(s): Prince Rogers Nelson