I wish that I didn't hate you
Least not as much as I do
And squander all my contempt for
A little nothing like you
Liar like you are ten-a-penny
Women would slap you, if you knew any

Sometimes I feel just like committing a crime

I got a suitcase of phony wisdom to dispense
These twenty-seven or so years
You'd think I would have made them some cents
Now they want me fingerprinted
Like I was smuggling drugs
While the government does deals with the most convenient thugs

Sometimes I feel just like committing a crime
It's needle time

I'm trying not to despise you with a passion
That is hard to extinguish
Or maybe I really love you
Although it's hard to distinguish

I wish I could be a little more like a saint is
Forgiving those who trespass against us

Sometimes I feel just like committing a crime

I started talking nonsense, just like I did to begin with
Around the time I tired of those sour English

Sometimes I feel just like committing a crime
It's needle time

Copyright: BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group
Writer(s): Cait O'Riordan, Elvis Costello