Garden Party held today, invites call the debs to play,
Social climbers polish ladders, wayward sons again have fathers,
Edgy eggs and queing cumbers, rudely wakened from their slumber,
Time has come again for slaughter on the lawns by still Cam waters

Champagne corks are firing at the sun again
Swooping swallows chased by violins again

Straafed by Strauss they sulk in crumbling eaves again
Oh God not again, not again
Apertifs consumed en masse display their owners on the grass
Couples loiter in the cloisters, social leeches quoting Chaucer
Doctor's son a parson's daughter where why not and should they oughta

Please don't lie on the grass, unless accompanied by a fellow,
(May I be so bold as to suggest Othello)
Punting on the Cam is jolly fun they say
Beagling on the downs Oh please come they say
Rugger is the tops a game for men they say

(They say)
Thank God they say
I'm punting, I'm beagling, I'm wining, reclining, I'm rucking, I'm fucking
So welcome, it's a party

Angie chalks another blue, mother smiles she did it too
Chitters chat and gossips lash
Posers pose pressmen flash, flash, flash
Smiles polluted with false charm, locking onto Royal arms,
Society columns now ensured, return to mingle with the crowds
Oh what a crowd

Punting on the Cam, oh please do come they say
Beagling on the downs, oh please so come they say
Garden party held today they say
Oh please do come, oh please do come, they say

Copyright: Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Writer(s): IAN MOSLEY, MARK KELLY, PETER TREWAVAS, STEVE HOGARTH, STEVE ROTHERY