Was a wet day in London
Me fortunes were crumblin'
I was on me way back from the building
The job and the foreman that day
He saw nothing my way
And the lorry ran over the sandals, begob

I was hungry and thirsty and felt a bit down
I went in for a little libation
I'd five pints of porter
Three Jimmies for starters
Two pork pies and what
Some cabbage and bacon

Though the day, it was dreary
Now I felt a bit cheery
In no time I was ready for action, begob
And I played the old jukebox
Pulled up the old blue socks -
And winked at this young woman beside me
Begob wouldn't it be, it would happen to me
She winked back and she sat down beside me
I told her me name and she told me the same
Says I to her, "What?"
"Then what are ya drinkin'?"

"Come here
Me old flower" I said then to her
"It's the truth, I'm known as a liar"
"Come here, me old flower
I've seen ya before!"
"Give the woman in the
Bed there more porter"

She'd a gin and a tonic
And I felt supersonic
For her figure was maybe the devil, begob
With curves in right places
Through satins and laces
That would tempt an old
Bishop though celibate, begob
Me luck might be in and tonight I might sin
Though last week I was just at confession
But who gives a damn
Sure would do me no harm to have me a bit
A bit of diversion

Well, I was playing it cool
As I do as a rule
When the barman was calling for time now
Begob and she said with her sweet face
She'll come back to my place
Was then that I knew she was mine now, begob

Her place it was lush, with carpets so plush
She took off me ol' cap then the wellies
Without any delay she wore a sweet negligé
Like the girls wear on what (On what?)
On page three or telly

"Come here, me old flower"
I said then to her
"It's the truth, I'm known as a liar"
"Come here, me old flower
I've seen ya before!"
"Give the woman in the
Bed there more porter"

I don't mean to be crude but
I stood in the nude
With this goddess, this beautiful Venus
Begob she ruffled me duffle
We kissed and we shuffled
What a sight if me ma only seen us, begob
I was feeling quite grand with
The business at hand
When this photo I saw on the dresser
Was herself and this man, oh
With dirty big hands for her husband was who
(Was who?) was Wild Bill the wrestler
Although she was charming
I felt this alarming he was mean as a hairy
Gorilla, begob! "If he caught me in bed
With his woman", I said
"He'd kill me for sure I can tell ya
Begob" she said, now
Don't worry for he'd never hurry
Don't seen him at all, he's a messer
The door opened that night and
I got such a fright in the doorway was who
(Was who?) was Wild Bill the wrestler

"Come here
Me old flower" I said then to her
"It's the truth, I'm known as a liar"
"Come here, me old flower
I've seen ya before!"
"Give the woman in the
Bed there more porter"

With rage he was steamin'
His eyes they were gleamin'
Like a wild bull, he charged over to me
Begob but I ducked his wild pass
Kicked him in the ass
And ran like a hare for the doorway, begob!
I'd have gotten away without any delay
But I tripped and fell over the carpet
When I tried to get up
Well this dirty big pup
Grabbed me by the what (The what?)
By the leg and he pulled it

"Come here, me old flower"
I said then to her
"It's the truth, I'm known as a liar"
Don't believe this old yarn
Don't believe this old rhyme
For I'm pulling your leg
Like he's pulling mine

Tooraloo, tooralay
With your toorali oorali ay

Copyright: BARDIS MUSIC, USA ATTN: PETER BARDON
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