I can't carry on
This play is too long
I must be going
Extend my regrets

I gave it my best
But now I'm going
This is too much for me to take
Something tells me that she's faking it

She says she don't care
She wants to be fair
She must be joking
It's simple she said

Let's not lose our head
Tell me she's joking
This is too much for me to take
But somebody isn't faking

Someone's heart is breaking
And if you see her give her my critique
She's a bad little actress
Gets no curtain call

But the worst of all
When the curtain falls
There's no one at the backstage door
I'm more than her friend

'Cause I knew her when
She was no sensation
She's wasting our time
Repeats all her lines

What's her motivation?
Now she won't share her stage with me
Her performance was outrageous
Put me through some changes

So if you see her give her my critique
She's a bad little actress
Her delivery don't come naturally
Anyone could see she doesn't mean a word she says

Her mascara ran
And the show was panned
But I'm still her biggest fan
So when you see her give her my critique

She's a bad little actress
Gets no curtain call
But the worst of all
When the curtain falls
There's no one at the backstage door

Copyright: Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Writer(s): JOHN WILCOX, ROGER POWELL, TODD RUNDGREN