While digesting Reader's Digest
In the back of a dirty book store
A plastic flag, with gum on the back
Fell out on the floor
Well, I picked it up and I ran outside
Slapped it on my window shield
And if I could see old Betsy Ross
I'd tell her how good I feel

But your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven anymore
They're already overcrowded
From your dirty little war
Now Jesus don't like killin'
No matter what the reason's for
And your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven anymore

Well, I went to the bank this morning
And the cashier he said to me
"If you join the Christmas club
We'll give you ten of them flags for free"
Well, I didn't mess around a bit
I took him up on what he said
And I stuck them stickers all over my car
And one on my wife's forehead

But your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven anymore
They're already overcrowded
From your dirty little war
Now Jesus don't like killin'
No matter what the reason's for
And your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven anymore

Well, I got my window shield
So filled with flags I couldn't see
So, I ran the car upside a curb
And right into a tree
By the time they got a doctor down
I was already dead
And I'll never understand why the man
Standing in the pearly gates said

"But your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven anymore
We're already overcrowded
From your dirty little war
Now Jesus don't like killin'
No matter what the reason's for
And your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven anymore"

Copyright: Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Writer(s): John Prine