There it is, right, two, a one, two, three

Well, I've been spending all my money on weed n' pills
Tryin' to write a song that'll pay the bills
But it ain't came yet, so I guess I'll have to rob a bank

I guess it could be worse, it ain't that bad
At least I ain't sittin' in old Baghdad
In the middle of a hot damn desert sittin' in a tank

Well, every time the wife talks, a baby gets mentioned
I'm so broke I can't pay attention
Lord, how it tears me up to see her cry

Oh, I've been spendin' all my nights on the internet
Looking for a clue but ain't found one yet
Just a bunch of Mopars, guitars and other stuff I can't buy

Well, now Lord, if you can hear me won't you throw a damn dog a bone
'Cause if the Devil shows up with a better deal this old soul's a-goin' down
Oh, I sing 'em real pretty, sing 'em real sad
And all the people in the crowd say "He ain't half bad"
Well, they call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain
If you want it you can have the crown

Well, I've been sittin' on my ass like a bump on a log
Watchin' Andy and ol' Boss Hog
I guess I oughta get up and go out and find a job

Instead of sittin' on the couch trying to find the next line
I'm sure there's gotta be a better use of my time
Like figuring out which one of these banks I'm gonna go rob

Well, the name of the game is hurry up and wait
But that ain't putting no food on my plate
Or gas in my car and I drive a Bronco

So Lord, if I could just get me a record deal
I might not have to worry about my next meal
But I'll still be trying to figure out what the hell rhymes with Bronco

Well, now Lord, if you can hear me won't you throw a damn dog a bone
'Cause if the Devil shows up with a better deal this old soul's a-goin' down
Oh, I sing 'em real pretty, sing 'em real sad
And all the people in the crowd say "He ain't half bad"
Well, they call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain
If you want it you can have the crown

Well, they call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain
If you want it you can have the crown

Copyright: Wixen Music Publishing
Writer(s): John Sturgill Simpson