He's a polyglot, a psychopath, an androgyne
He likes to handcuff Japanese girls hanging upside down
He is rampant like the stallion
He wears the gold medallion
Of the Royal Order Of Reprobates Of Lichtenstein

He's a bondage fan, a gastronome, a sensualist
Unparalleled for sinister lasciviousness
In a love hotel at half past four
He'll purchase schoolgirl underwear
Meet Noboyushi Araki for dinner there

Professor Shaftenberg
Professor Shaftenberg
He is sponsored by Lufthansa
To screw the pants off Japanese girls

The professor isn't home right now, so this is the real
Me
I want to grind bones with a naked baby cow
And squash the squid and jump the junk
I want to peel the pample mouse pink to the pulp
Part the fronds and enter this, my magical place
Let us sing the song of innocence and experience

He's a zoophile, a hydrophobe, a lotus flower
He carries patent leather snake oil for his penis power
When it's time to fuck their socks off
He boards his flight at Tempelhof
Countdown to Tokyo and zero hour

Professor Shaftenberg
Professor Shaftenberg
He is sponsored by Lufthansa
To screw the pants off Japanese girls

You are culpable but highly fuckable
I'll bring you home by midnight, death by chocolate,
The horn by stealth of moonlight
I'll stab you to the hilt
Satin you and jasmine you and, finally, critically
Drink the ectoplasmic jet
Grip and grab three hot bags of girly goddess head

Professor Shaftenberg
Professor Shaftenberg
He is sponsored by Lufthansa
To screw the pants off Japanese girls

The Professor isn't in right now but I'm his bastard
Cousin
The funky little pervert Reverend Hyde,
One superbad dude, come to my pad, let's collude and
Let's collide
Clasping and gasping, climax in unison, spermatozoon,
Clapping, coming,
Consummate, original, stunning from start to finish in
Performance and execution
Invoke the deities, shock the pants off several
Choke on sacred bread and pollute the holy wafer
Inject a cloud of jism in the middle of the holy water
In clouds of unknowing I want to know
In places I have never been I want to go
I want to get my rocks off till my cock pops off

Professor Shaftenberg
Professor Shaftenberg
He is sponsored by Lufthansa
To bore the pants off Japanese girls

Copyright: Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Writer(s): NICHOLAS JOHN CURRIE, NICK CURRIE