(Oi!) in the pub, about seven-thirty
Mother makes sure that his face ain't dirty
Him and mother go everywhere
Holds her hand without a care

Lived with mother for forty years
The neighborhood said that he must be queer
Normal folk a-just don't like that
Glad he can't hear behind his back
When mother dies, he will have a cry 'cause he'll be on his own
He's frightened stiff, would he come to this?
Will he lose her to the heavenly home?

In the pub, about seven thirty
Mother makes sure that his face ain't dirty
Him and mother go everywhere
Holds her hand without a care

Lived with mother for forty years
The neighborhood said that he must be queer
Normal folk a-just don't like that
Glad he can't hear behind his back
When mother dies, he'll have a cry 'cause he'll be on his own
He's frightened stiff, would he come to this?
Will he lose her to the heavenly home?

Once went out with a London girl
Dirty weekend in a hotel
Broke it off when she got shirty
She was twelve and he was thirty
Right after that he was bedsore
He wouldn't go out with girls no more
From that day since, he never has
He wants to do a-something dirty

Copyright: Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Writer(s): CATHAL JOSEPH SMYTH, CHRISTOPHER JOHN FOREMAN, DANIEL MARK WOODGATE, GRAHAM MCPHERSON, LEE JAY THOMPSON, MARK BEDFORD, MARK WILLIAM BEDFORD, MICHAEL BARSON