The lady said to the tiger,
As they stood behind some doors,
"I'm sick of this job.
I don't know what we're waiting here for.
I'm turning off life support.
I'm putting an end to this joke."
The tiger thought about this,
And then the tiger spoke.

"Starving the beast, at the very least,
Will just increase its hunger.
Go right ahead and starve me dead.
It will only make me stronger."

The lady said,
"I'm bustin' out of this prison.
I got laser vision, and I'm burning a hole in the wall."
The tiger said "Wait, you'll start a fire,
Destroy the entire lady and the tiger hall.

"Felines and dames in flames will hardly serve your aims.
Do you surmise it's wise to have laser beams
Emitting from your eyes?"

"Point taken, cat.
I can well see that our lives are worth protecting,
But I submit it's time we quit this hoping and expecting.

"Felines and dames in flames will hardly serve my aims,
But in my dreams,
It seems that my eyes are always shooting laser beams."

The hall remains, it still contains a pair of doors, a choice.
Behind one door, a muffled roar, behind the other, a voice.

Copyright: Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Writer(s): John C Flansburgh, John S Linnell