MES: Modernity. Moderninity, water lane 01715599 dream sat may tents and tomatoes at Blackpool where Jimmy Bloomfield has been brought back to host jousts in moderninity. One of the many football grounds that have been converted to hold this revived sport.

Voice 1: From today and forthwith, jousts at moderninity

MES: Joust in moderninity. Charred landscape, watching the female bouts at the beginning on the tent bedecked terraces I exclaim out aloud "It's too drafty in here, those girls will certainly catch their death of cold" and shoved to left by bearded steward but every movement my companion catches reprimands me. I am completely deaf so cannot gauge my own voice volume.

<at various speeds>

The large tomatoes and gold and beige striped tents plunked on brand new soccer terracing seem to symbolise a clean shaven (city) New decadence. The Lancashire northern western quarter had seemed to materialise overnight, its citizens plump, voyeuristic. Slowly they watch every movement by anybody or anything. I bless my uncanny ability to blend. My friend Matthew is not so lucky, his wife is home at last from hospital. It is his first day out (in weeks) always energetic he too shouts and is obviously thought drunk, (borrowed/followed) a massive decrepit Jaguar car. <tape cut> soccer terracing seemed to symbolise a new clean shaven but chip greasy new decadence. The Lancashire northern western quarter seemed to materialise overnight its citizens plump, voyeuristic, slowly they watch every movement.

There is no reason to this. This makes new York look Athenic. For LNWQ read (Romandy) for the East read Sparta.

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Writer(s): MARK E. SMITH